22 and 2.
I'll be setting off for Calgary this afternoon; what a pity I can't have a post dated 10 October! :( Haha.
But of course, this entry really entails more than just self-illustrated well-wishes. Perhaps as the clock ticks away and entrances me in a whirl of repeated birthday wishes from vastly different time zones, I've been made to regard all of this as as a personal reminder, that I really am more than just an adult now, 22 and facing major choices in my life.
I've embarked on a long journey and come far this year, literally and figuratively. There're of course certain aspects I hope I'd achieved more and done better; yet on the positive side I'm nevertheless encouraged by my actions and efforts in learning to love and give, improving facilitation and mentoring, reaching out and advocating relationship management. Yes, give yourself a pat on the back Wini, you deserve it on your day. From now, I just need to make sure I'll eventually fulfill my goals at the end of the trip, and upon my return in January be all prepared for the final lap.
At this point there's also a lot I want to say to my best and closest friends - you know who you are - thank you all for always being there, for caring, for knowing exactly what to say at the right times, for everything that's made me the Wini you all know (and love!). I wanted to write personal messages here but I'm afraid of leaving people out and I guess it'd be more significant if I write in person. :) Oh, and I made very long wishes on my birthday cakes, cos I wished many good things for all of you back home as well. :)
So well, I'll be spending my birthday on the Rocky Mountains (the way some of Blewky spent theirs on famous landmarks all over the world). Be back this coming Wednesday with all of you soon, after the weekend's crazy and ambitious travel itinerary. TTFN (tata for now)!
P/S: Keep the smses coming when the clock strikes 12! FYI:
- Singapore, Fri 12am = Winnipeg, Thurs 11am
- Winnipeg, Fri 12am = Singapore, Fri 1pm
- Calgary, Fri 12am = Singapore, Fri 2pm
The confusing thing's that I'll be at Calgary when it strikes 10 October here. Let's see who gets the timing perfect, I'll reveal the winner next week! HAHA.. and if you're thoughtful enough, you could wish me twice! :)
xx
人生偶尔会走上一条陌路 像是没有指标的地图
别让他们说你该知足 只有你知道什么是你的幸福
她今年阳历十月十日刚满二十二 刚甩开课本要离开家看看这世界 却发现许多烦恼要面对
她常会想望能回到那年她一十二 只需要好好上学生活单纯没忧愁
她一直满怀希望 她笑着想过未来.
她应该得到幸福 如此的简单的梦
有没有实现
...
Happy Birthday Mummy! I'm glad you liked the video I made specially for you - I'm glad I managed to finish it too - and I'd have guessed you brought it to office to show off as well. Haha.. I've penned whatever I wanted to say in your birthday card, so hope you receive it soon! :) Lots of love!
bout (noun)
Maybe as a judoka this word's been most commonly used by and on me for the longest time ever - "how many bouts do you have?" / "which bout are you?" / "jia you for your bout!"
Yea, now that my mind's wandering it seems wittily pun-nish that I'm suddenly thrown into a a bout I need to fight, only this time it's one of negative and dreary emotions. To risk sounding overly pessimistic, it's probably just a rather stressful period of time given that I'll be away in Alberta the next few days over the Thanksgiving weekend, only to return with tough assignment deadlines and a Finance mid-term exam the next day. FINANCE! Omg. Coupled with the inherent lack of sleep and the need to rush over planning and packing, I've evolved into quite a grouch and worrywart today.
The Art of Travel
I tried making things better, settling down in the quiet of the Dafoe library revising Finance (with the intermittent power-napping and reading The Art of Travel). And Christine, I now understand why you said the book spoke to you, and I really appreciate your getting it for me though I've been having difficulty finding time to read. Given my state of emotions today, the following did appeal greatly:
"I felt lonely, but for once it was a gentle, even pleasant kind of loneliness, because rather than unfolding against a backdrop of laughter and fellowship, which would have caused me to suffer from the contrast between my mood and the environment, it had as its locus a place where everyone was a stranger, where the difficulties of communication and the frustrated longing for love seemed to be acknowledged and brutally celebrated by the architecture and lighting.
The collective loneliness brought to mind certain canvases by Edward Hopper, which, despite the bleakness they depict, are not themselves bleak to look at but rather allow the viewer to witness an echo of his or her own grief and thereby to feel less personally persecuted and beset by it. It is perhaps sad books that best console us when we are sad, and to lonely service stations that we should drive when there is no one for us to hold or love."
-- Somehow it felt bittersweet reading the above; the book enlightened, yet granted me omniscience (film jargon, haha) from a third person's perspective, observing myself and acknowledging I'm indeed lonely and lost today. And reading just made it both better and worse with the hike in emotions involved, yep. Oh, and I came across the part you wrote to me!
"At the end of hours of train-dreaming, we may feel we have been returned to ourselves - that is, brought back into contact with emotions and ideas of importance to us. It is not necessarily at home that we best encounter our true selves. The furniture insists that we cannot change because it does not; the domestic setting keeps us tethered to the person we are in ordinary life, who may not be who we essentially are."
-- It did set me thinking essentially if I've managed to find that space to make things better - sometimes I feel I do, but perhaps at times like this (stress/fatigue?) I'm just unsure and need some kind of assurance. After all, I haven't yet completed anything concrete about career management, and I'm definitely becoming increasingly unhealthy. ROAR.
Epilogue
I had an extremely long shower just now, scrubbing away at dry skin cells and applying my facial mask, as if to literally detox and wash it all off. Then I downed 2 red plums, munching on something healthier for a change. With my birthday coming soon, I ought to stop falling into Sisyphus and think positive thoughts.
I just need to do it all better, too.
wini loves surprises! 2:54 AMThe Mysterious Parcel
I thought it'd be nice to check my mailbox for unexpected (and expected) birthday mail today, if any that is. And tada, to my sheer delight I received an exciting parcel!
The sender was named "Your Loves!", and for a moment it got me wondering. But "Choa Chu Kang" on the sender's address somehow gave it away, and I kinda thought it'd be my teammates, heh.
And it was indeed! They'd sent the HC tee gotten at MAF, which was really very sweet of them. The postcards they chose also depicted festivals in Singapore, just so to send me snippets of home and make me feel warm and loved. :)
It's such a coincidence too that I was thinking about them just this morning, when I did up the previous post with our team pictures atop. It just feels so heartwarming to know you're remembered, and to discover something exciting in an almost-always-empty mailbox. Thank you my dearest teammates! 我爱你们!
Birthday Surprise at AVM
Coupled with the above, this surprise birthday party has made today so superbly unexpected, eventful and most heartfelt. I never expected Chantale (AIMS buddy coordinator) and Js to plan a mini secret party, not at least sometime so early nor something planned specially for me alone (from what I know previously, we only had a joint celebration for all September babies during the Clear Lake weekend; I'd thought mine'd be at the next upcoming event in end-October)! Nevertheless, it started like this:
I returned home late this evening and Js was noisier than usual, prancing around the house, which I passed off as his probably feeling stressed over midterms. Suddenly, though, he disappeared from home without warning, a behaviour very atypical of him. (But yea, it turned out that he had difficulty containing his excitement, that's why he became kinda hyperactive, hahaha.)
Well, he actually went to the AVM lounge to help with the decor, before reappearing suddenly to "lure" me downstairs. It really sounded fishy though, cos he claimed to be "baking a cake for me in the kitchen downstairs but needed some help" (?!?) Haha.. and I kept thinking if I should change out before heading down, but I didn't want to appear as if I'm overthinking as well..
So yep, upon my arrival the lights flicked on and a whole bunch of buddies and exchange students were there, both closer friends and others who just came to send their well-wishes. And I must admit even though amidst the fishiness I'd expected something to happen, I didn't think it was of such a scale and that there were so many who cared and bothered, even amidst the midterms period! Oh, they did catch me in my pyjamas (i.e. tee + track pants) though, so erm, I went back up to change and they redid the lights-flicking-surprise-shouting thingy all over again, HAHA.
A very cute Winnie the Pooh birthday cake. Presents today included 2 cards, some chapalang Pooh stationery and books amongst others, heh.
I think I look like a little kid in such photos, haha. It's nice that everyone had a go at signing the card and penning their well-wishes, which I find very meaningful and sweet :)
Chantale, the lady behind it all, bringing everything together and making this possible. This pillar was decorated by the Germans - Momo, Marcel and Christian.
From left to right: Sepi (my coffee partner, and she really never takes photos so this's a rare one), Sandy, Adriana, Thalia, Christian, Momo
Clockwise from top right: Germans, Canadians and Mexicans vying against one another for my attention to appear in their photos, haha
My current stash of balloons in the corner
Something interesting about the figurine on my cake - initially everyone was disappointed there wasn't a Winnie the Pooh; Js fiddled with it and accidentally pressed a catch which popped Pooh out from the hunny-pot! Haha. And here's a confession: I'd always had this secret desire to have one of those big big candles on my birthday cake, and here they are! Not to mention, my birthday badge flickers too!
Haha, apart from all the above, I'm just really sporting today too cos they made me do a birthday speech as well as play Truth-or-Truth; people just bombarded me with questions one after another, which I took coolly with utmost composure.
Wini really loves surprises! :D
This is my first time ever celebrating my birthday away from home - at least, to as far back as I can remember but it should be - and definitely my first time celebrating it separately from my Mum, since hers is just 2 days before mine.
So I'm turning 22 soon, many crossroads passed and choices made. Recently I've been thinking a lot about how far I've come in these recent years (cos I was making a video as a surprise for my Mum's birthday). And yes, who'd not agree it'd been a dramatic change for me, both physically and mentally? Haha.. and just for trivia purposes:
I'm super paisay-ed by the unglam pic on the left, but it's funny how I (we) used to look! So to depict the contrast I've put them side-by-side. Time lapse between both shots = 5 years.
Anyway, Chris says I must make my Mum feel "what a fine daughter I've raised", so now I'm just thinking what a fine person I've developed into and grown to be. HAHA. Okay la, I was just kidding. But I probably do have some reflections to pen at this point in my life, which I will hopefully over the next few days before I leave for Calgary.
xx
So well, despite being away from home, Laura's parents hosted a heartwarming birthday dinner for me at their place last Saturday, in their most thoughtful way to make me feel at home and loved even when I'm far away from friends and family.
I do think I'm really fortunate to have had so many wonderful birthdays in a row - yes, Vicki's annual "party plans" (simple yet sweet), Blewky's little celebrations (though this year we've spent our birthdays all over the world on different continents), birthday buffets with Evi and Luyi (we must make up for it when I return)! And last year I'd celebrated mine with tonnes of people; this year's simple yet nevertheless unique and memorable, and will undoubtedly be one of the greatest highlights of my exchange experience.
Mrs Fox does up the interior decor of her house on her own! An avid fan of IKEA, her efforts in creating the perfect home makes her guests (us) feel so warmly welcomed all the time.
Laura says because it is my birthday (and hence "a special occasion"), her mum'd specially prepared appetizers like cheese + crackers + fruit for us!
The nicely-decorated dinner table - Js and I are holding up our name-tags, which Mrs Fox always prepares for each meal.
Dinner started off with a champagne toast to me, which made me feel really special and at the centre of attention, haha. It was all nice and sweet, and dessert was tea, and of course, my yummy birthday cake. :)
Top left to right: Mr and Mrs Fox (John and Patricia), Dave (Laura's boyfriend)
Cheesecake with strawberries and blueberries, homemade by Mrs Fox.
We were then made to proceed to the family room while everyone watched me unwrap presents. I guess it's something I've never done in many years for now, just everyone sitting around watching the birthday girl in anticipation. I think I last did something like this in Primary 6 or something, haha. I was made to read every card aloud (I had 3 of them that night!) and show off all the presents!
After dinner we went up to help Laura and Judy find a space for rent in Singapore, going through the MRT system and possible locations with them. They also wanted to learn abit of SInglish so we taught them a little; now they know we were "nua-ing" on Laura's bed. Haha.
满载而归!I took the bunch of white balloons home so they're now lying in my room, haha. My loot of presents includes the following:
From Mr and Mrs Fox - a birthday card, U of M recyclable bag, U of M Bookstore gift certificate. From Laura and Dave - a cute pop-up monkey birthday card, an Inukshuk figurine, a scarf. From Judy - a birthday card, card-holder, Gold Card Mints and Starbucks gift card.
It's really sweet to receive homemade birthday cakes
So this is my 2nd homemade birthday cake ever, and I thought it'd be nice to show off my piano cake again from 2 years ago on my 20th. Vicki made it from the Betty Crocker piano cake recipe I saw online, and is to date one of my best birthday cakes ever. :)